It's all about the WiFi
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My babies spending some quality "family time" together a few years back |
We’re having a crisis of WiFi at our house, and I’m afraid the kids might not make it through. While I admit, the following story might not have unfolded exactly like this, perception is a funny thing. If you ask me, this is how it all went down.
As I’ve said before, I have children coming out of my ears. Two upstairs, two downstairs. There are kids just about everywhere in my house! Thankfully, I'm usually able to sit for a bit after dinner and get lost in internet travels on my phone while I wait for the dishwasher to finish up. Lately that's not been possible.
Over the past few weeks, we've had problems with our Wifi dropping connections randomly, and my peaceful evenings are when it seems to strike the most. Just the other day, I was sitting on the couch blissfully surfing away while my husband was working on his laptop. Out of the blue, my connection dropped. As always, his laptop was unaffected. My belief is that his WiFi is piped in by the government or some clandestine black ops agency no one knows about because he never seems to have these problems.
Within seconds of my dropped connection, I heard the thundering THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM BOOM of my 16 year-old, Ryan, stomping down the stairs. As he flings himself onto the couch next to me and moans,
By the way, this is exactly how he sounds to me. I swear everything that child says is in all caps. As I'm processing what he said and deciding how to respond, I hear the quick-step rhythm of 4 feet. This time, coming up from below.
“so um yeah the wifi keeps going out and did you ever find out what was going on with this do we need to call them to come out to the house again I need wifi for homework and by the way we need to go to the mall to get a new outfit for career day at school and I forgot to tell you I'm staying after school again tomorrow so I will need a ride home”.
This is coming from the Amanda sisters. They either talk in unison or finish each other’s sentences like some kind of crazy twin-speak. They remind me of the LGMs (little green men) from Toy Story because they are always of one mind. Not gonna lie. It's a little creepy. The only difference is the LGMs weren't teenage girls so they were much less...we'll say scary. Everything the girls say is usually fast, unpunctuated, mumbled and of the utmost importance.
Over the past few weeks, we've had problems with our Wifi dropping connections randomly, and my peaceful evenings are when it seems to strike the most. Just the other day, I was sitting on the couch blissfully surfing away while my husband was working on his laptop. Out of the blue, my connection dropped. As always, his laptop was unaffected. My belief is that his WiFi is piped in by the government or some clandestine black ops agency no one knows about because he never seems to have these problems.
Within seconds of my dropped connection, I heard the thundering THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM BOOM of my 16 year-old, Ryan, stomping down the stairs. As he flings himself onto the couch next to me and moans,
"MOMMMM, CAN'T YOU CALL THEM AND HAVE THEM RESET OUR MODEM AGAINNN? THIS IS FREAKIN RIDICULOUSSSS! THIS IS HAPPENING ALLLLL THE TIME! WHAT DID THEY DO WHEN THEY CAME HERE TO FIX THIS THE OTHER DAYYY?"
By the way, this is exactly how he sounds to me. I swear everything that child says is in all caps. As I'm processing what he said and deciding how to respond, I hear the quick-step rhythm of 4 feet. This time, coming up from below.
“so um yeah the wifi keeps going out and did you ever find out what was going on with this do we need to call them to come out to the house again I need wifi for homework and by the way we need to go to the mall to get a new outfit for career day at school and I forgot to tell you I'm staying after school again tomorrow so I will need a ride home”.
This is coming from the Amanda sisters. They either talk in unison or finish each other’s sentences like some kind of crazy twin-speak. They remind me of the LGMs (little green men) from Toy Story because they are always of one mind. Not gonna lie. It's a little creepy. The only difference is the LGMs weren't teenage girls so they were much less...we'll say scary. Everything the girls say is usually fast, unpunctuated, mumbled and of the utmost importance.
A full five minutes later my baby Austin, also known as Joe Cool, saunters into the room like a silent ninja.
“Sooooo. Are ya watchin’ TV”?
This one always has to have an ice breaker. He never just comes clean with what’s on his mind. I can't count the number of times he's told me that he liked the outfit I wore to work and then slipped in, "by the way do you know what's for dinner?"
He lowers the boom a little quicker than normal and says,
“I’m sure you probably know this, but my WiFi went out a little while ago. So I guess we're paying for it, just not getting it, right?"
He's trying to appeal to my logical, fiscally responsible side. The force is strong in that one.
“Sooooo. Are ya watchin’ TV”?
This one always has to have an ice breaker. He never just comes clean with what’s on his mind. I can't count the number of times he's told me that he liked the outfit I wore to work and then slipped in, "by the way do you know what's for dinner?"
He lowers the boom a little quicker than normal and says,
“I’m sure you probably know this, but my WiFi went out a little while ago. So I guess we're paying for it, just not getting it, right?"
He's trying to appeal to my logical, fiscally responsible side. The force is strong in that one.
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